Janiel is a peer counselor who specializes in supporting individuals who are experiencing grief. Unfortunately, this expertise comes from direct experience living through a grief so profound, so numbing that life for Janiel meant barely getting through each day. A visit to her doctor set her on a path to recovery when she was referred to Grant Integrated Services for support. Learning to take one day at a time, through her recovery eventually led Janiel to paid work as a peer counselor. She uses her own experiences as a guide to helping others and also attributes good training from her supervisor to move from the lived experience to guiding others toward recovery and achieving personal goals.
In the beginning: Recovery from grief for Janiel was slow and she used some photos to describe how grieving was impacting her life. In one photo, there is a cart. Janiel explained that she took that photo because "when I was going through the depression, I fell so many times that my knees are not good so I used it to carry my bag on [it]." She also described wailing and crying and needing to have the strength to advocate for herself when she realized that the first therapist assigned to her was not the right fit. Despite her depression, she realized that if she was going to get better, she was going to have to rely on some inner strength to advocate for the kind of support she needed. She also took a photo of the doctor's office where she first learned of grief counseling and attributes that referral as the step to recovery.
Support: Janiel identified two support services that helped her tremendously. First, she was given the opportunity to participate in a grief course and that served as a support group as well. Secondly, after starting therapy with a different therapist, Janiel said that she could remember little from the sessions. So, the therapist wrote things down for her and Janiel would hang the papers in her home to re-read them. "I’d take it home and put it on the wall or on the mirror or somewhere. I still have them. Through that, she helped me realize I was still a mom".
Mission statement: Janiel took a photo of the mission statement for the organization. She said that she understands that it is important for the organization to have it. She's just not sure why there is such a focus on it. "I'm still not sure I understand the mission statement. They spend like two or three hours on that thing. But it’s obvious to me. Does that make sense? That’s just a different perspective. I’m trying to be tolerant of things, but I've got work to do. I just know it means--I told someone that that I work with. She said, “But they went through all this time and work to do this. And look, they did it all nice, they laminated it, put it on a hard surface.” So, I put it close to my desk and give it respect".
Advice: Janiel has a number of recommendations for peer counselors as well as consumers of counseling services.
For consumers of counseling services: 1. It’s important to get help before you're on that edge. " I kept telling myself to just get to one year, but when that time came and went, I knew I needed help".
2, Be sure to get the right services. Ask to be connected to the right therapist for you.
3. It all hinges on that self-care. The higher power that--knowing that you need to get enough sleep, eat, and if you're stressed, pained, all that will magnify whatever else is going on in your body.
4. There will be waves of grief. That’s just the way it is. And on those days, get out your little list. What am I not doing that I should be doing? What can I do to feel better? So, it’s just good self-care.Your perspective changes and you look at the pluses instead of the negatives. You also reach out for help, and that’s what they teach you here. It’s self-care. You look at the pluses, you look at all the miracles.
For peer counselors and staff: 1. Be sensitive to what people might be going thinking but not saying. "Most people don’t understand that when someone is fighting being on that edge, that it runs through their mind all the freakin’ time. They don’t understand that. It’s funny. When I see people here, I ask them, “Is it running through your mind?” Because they won't say, “Yes, I’m going--I feel like I’m going to end my life.” They won't say that. But they can verbalize, “Yeah, it is running through my mind all the time.”
2. Be aware that not everyone might be receptive to peer counselors. Some people might not think you can handle it. But you can.
3. Ask your supervisor for help when you need it. Get coaching on how to give appropriate peer counseling. " Part of it was how to phrase things, and part of it was to cue me on what was appropriate and how to talk to people that I work with assertively but to gain their cooperation. It’s stuff you don’t always have when you start out. You have to be willing to accept change. I guess that’s it. Or a different perspective, just to view a different perspective than your own.Maybe that’s what I want to say. My supervisor [Dawn]- she would offer perspective, stuff like that.
4. Be open to getting feedback. "I was willing, which makes a difference. Some people, when they come to work, they're not willing or they take it as--they take offense to it".
5. You respect the people, where they're at, and you try to help them walk through whatever they have to do, and empower them, help them walk to the point that they can do it on their own. There’s turning points for everyone.